If the Fords were honest...

...their quotes would be more along these lines - 

"We're just regular guys, just like you. We own millions of dollars worth of properties across Ontario and in Florida, we grew up rich, we're celebrities, we are and have been heavily involved in buying and selling illegal drugs, and we use our enormous media exposure to lie to the public about everything, all the time; oh and also we're under active police investigation and we like to pick fights with the chief of police.

"Just average regular hard-working blue collar guys, that's all, folks. Just like you!"

What other things would the Fords say if they were honest?